It still early, at 6 in the morning my phone rang, it was her, i could hear she bawled, she asked me to come, pick her up someplace, so later i came, she looks fine except for her puffy eyes, she started to cry when she shared her story, i walked her for a sightsee, the city light looks beautiful least to brought her smile and laugh again, in the end back on her place, this is her last day before she have to leave for study in other town, she asked me to stay but i didn't things that's right, so i walked out to a front door she said "thank you, for making me happy" as she hold me from behind, i hold her back, i hope i can do a lot for her but i cant..
One day she invite me to her town, i go there on a weekend, she waited me at the station, this time she takes me around her town, ended up into a higher place, high enough to see most of the city, it was beautiful, we talked all night and tears again she said she wants to escape from all her stuff, those fake little friendship, i brought her something from our home, we couldn't get it on her last day, its her favorite and she was surprised least to brought her smile and laugh again, she started to talk about her favorite and the story behind it, forgotten things drew her tears, it was getting late we walk below the moonlight headed to her place, "thank you, for making me happy" as she hold me from behind, i hold her back, i hope i can do a lot for her but i cant…
in a month there was an artist's show we wanted to come, she was so excited about it, 3 days to go she were nowhere to found, i decided to go with my friend, that night i was on my way to go, she called me and start to tell me much about what she have been doing this couples of days, i told her I'm going the concert, she's upset, she said I'm not supposed to go with someone else, we had our promised to go together, next day i tried to explain i wanted it was her but she never come, night comes i was surprised its her that rang my phone, she said sorry for everything and realize that she was at no position forbidding me, then we met and go someplace to talk, as she hold me she said "I love you" she told me that's the only reason that brought her like that, I was happy to hear things she forbade us to talk, I feel it to but we knew that this won't bring us to something, I hold her back, i hope I can do a lot for her but can't...
so fucking long ago…
right on her front door, this is what she said,
when I'm with you, I knew I would be happy, we can do everything that we want, you give me joy your heart can give, i feel it, all little surprises, late night éclairs, red light flowers, hot water nature, a bed of strawberry, so many laugh on us, we seemed don't need anyone else, you and your way, I never met a man like that, you're just different from them all.. I'm grateful we could met after all, at first i was surprised, but i know you're grew up, but its me, its me who still don't want to live that way, but i don't know what to do if I'm not with you, i really hope you could stay..
since then we never really break up, never apart but also never be together,
I shut my mouth for whatever i feel
though i never need her, yet i let my self to be there
many things just doesn't make sense,
one friend says its not meant to be, another friend says its just coincidence
“who cares? I'm happy, aren't you happy?” things, it works well for sometimes, only for sometimes..
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